Archive | February 2011

Quiet, yes.

It’s quite possible that my silence is misleading.

Generally, blogging is one of my ways of procrastinating, of not writing creatively with intent to submit at some point. I had a pretty good thing going on about a month ago. I was writing and submitting all over the place. Then it came to a screeching halt and for no good reason, and I haven’t been able to pick up speed since.

Tomorrow is a deadline for two projects that I had planned on submitting to, but barring a sudden extension, it just won’t happen.

And I’m not feeling as badly about that as I should. Sure I’ve been busy at work and sickness struck three out of my four members of my household, so all that has been an energy drainer.

Maybe I just needed the break. Maybe I need to FINALLY work on the novel. Who knows?

What I do know is that I still don’t feel the motivation coming on. I’d like for it to be there and if I were one of those dedicated, determined writers that I envy so, I would just sit myself down and do it… write and write and write until something gives.

Alas…

You know what they say about no news.

Well, we saw what happened when I fretted about waiting for responses for my current irons in the fire. I received a quick rejection for an oral sex story I had submitted just a couple of weeks ago. Then, I decided I’d just sit back and wait… that maybe no news is good news and not look for those quick responses in my inbox.

I then got another email, this one a tentative acceptance for another oral story I had submitted for the same anthology (and thankfully so, since it upped my odds, apparently). And I always explain the “tentative” part. My story is included in the manuscript to be turned in to the publisher, but runs the risk of being cut once it’s AT the publishers. And, yes, I’ve had the honor of having a story cut by the actual publisher, once, years ago when I was still trying to break into getting published and it was absolutely crushing for me. The editor, however, was very kind about it and was a wonderful mentor for me for a while and that same story went on to be published elsewhere.

So, I’m 1 and 1 here on the submissions front. Three stories still in limbo. Several in the works in various stages.

I’ve also received another anthology in the mail to read and review.

Here’s my glass, and it’s half full.

I received a rejection today for “Having His Cake.” I almost didn’t flinch. I’ve been rejected before so it’s really not a case of “they don’t like me – I’m worthless” and I’ve had more acceptances than rejections so…

After 10+ years of doing this, I know that so many things factor in whether a story is accepted or turned away. Length, content could be not as on target as required, they could already have too much of the same, etc. And these are the things you wonder about and hope for in lieu of “It was just a shitty story.”

And editors are so bombarded with submissions and have to reject the bulk of them so they can’t really personalize your rejections – though I, thankfully, had a few editors who actually did.

I know I’m a skilled writer. I know I produce a lot of good stuff. But I’m not so vain that I think I can’t miss the mark no and then.

And besides, I can always submit it elsewhere. After all, I’ve had three stories go from the rejection pile to the other side – one of them being “Midnight Letter to Fran” published by Zane in 04 in “Chocolate Flava.”

The others were “Mt. Everest” and “Change of Life” and I’ve had two stories that were good enough to be sold twice – “Bend” and “Lonnie’s Licks.”

So who am I to sulk about rejection? And where would I be if everything were always “yes, yes, yes” for me?

I already have another project in mind for Having His Cake. As a matter of fact, I have another reject I think I’m going to send along with it ;).

It’s Valentine’s Day weekend, and I’ll be your sucker

I tend to postmark my relationship in holidays, even in Superbowls as I recently told my husband that this was our fifth Superbowl “together” though we weren’t physically. And this is our fifth Valentine’s day and as I prepare to meet him in Georgia for the weekend, I’ve been reflecting on days of Valentine’s past… like our first when we were both fresh out of prior marriages and living back in our parents’ house. I made him a mixed CD, got him a bear and some candy and then got called into work. The second we spent the weekend in North Carolina in a city he had never visited. The third and forth in Atlanta where I have family and we spent time with my cousins and my great aunts.

And now.

I can’t say where it really became a tradition for us, but if comes naturally to plan where we’re going and what we’re doing for Valentine’s Day… I’ve never been that much of a sucker for it before so, it’s kinda nice not recognizing myself for a bit…

This week was the second of three that he’s been away for work and I’m extremely excited to just get there. He’s told me about a restaurant he wants us to go to. He’s scoped out the spots where I like to shop. I’m sitting here beaming… have reserved the room and printed my directions. Have packed the car and made proper babysitting arrangements.

Ahhh…

In the Meantime

I purposely stayed away from blogging for the past couple of days because I wanted my interview with Claudia Moss to be the first thing on my blog for as long as possible to gain as much attention as possible.

I didn’t get much feedback on it at all which disappoints me not only because it was my first interview where I asked the questions, but because I was really proud of the quality of the questions and the work I put into it overall, and also because I am so supportive of this author and this particular work.

I’ve read two sample chapters and the synopsis, and let me tell you, I cannot wait for this novel’s release.

Alas…

I found myself feeling a little burned out from all the writing, and since I’m caught up on all my self-imposed deadlines, I’ve been enjoying Dangerous Pleasures by Fiona Zedde. I’m enjoying this novel more than I ever imagined I could. The writing is beautiful, the attention to detail is amazing and the descriptive language – my, my, my… and yes, a review is soon to come.

I did stall a bit trying to come up with a BDSM erotic romance story and maybe that caused me to put down the pen and pad, so I think that after I finish reading the book, I’ll turn to another, lighter story I was working on and finish that up.

I haven’t heard anything from the various irons in the fire which is another frustration, but it comes with the territory, this I know. So… reading it is, then some nice, uncomplicated writing and hopefully, good news soon.

Interview with Author Claudia Moss

I was recently granted the opportunity to inverview Atalanta based author, Claudia Moss. I have had the pleasure of knowing and exchanging with Ms. Moss for nearly two years now, and she continues to be a source of positivity and inspiration. I am very excited about her upcoming projects and I’m sure you will be, too.

Please do enjoy reading the interview as much as I did performing the task… and of course, feedback is most welcome!!!

You chose to self publish your debut novel. Had you exhausted all other possibilities or was this originally the avenue you chose for your novel? What are your thoughts on self publishing vs. traditional publishing through a publishing house?

As a woman who has known all her life that she was a writer, even writing as a middle-school girl, pencil madly scribbling across a notebook, shaping stories for my mother, siblings and girlfriends, I have always nurtured a persistent dream to be a published author. A successful one, of course. (soft laughter)

Actually, If You Love Me, Come is not my debut novel. It is my second. My debut novel was Dolly: Memoirs of a High School Graduate. I published it with Holloway House in 1987. So naturally, as a direct result of this experience, I automatically assumed another publishing house would sign me on to bring If You Love Me, Come to the shelves, though that was not to be.

I feared self publishing. Somehow, years back, it screamed unacceptable, not good enough. So I feared and put the manuscript in a drawer between shopping it around, but each time it was returned with a rejected letter, with a note praising how well written it was. Something whispered to me that it was being rejected because lesbian and straight lovemaking existed between its covers. I wondered if publishers wanted one slant or the other, but I decided they definitely did not want both. Note: all of this was neatly nestled in a novel about family and relationships.

As it turned out, everything was blessed in the end. I met E. Lynn Harris and interviewed him for Black Romance magazines. He’d recently self published Invisible Life and walked out on a stellar writing career, so, although it took years for me to self publish after our brief encounter, I finally embarked on that empowering decision to self publish and liberated myself.

Perhaps traditional publishing exists in my future, but I’m no longer merely dreaming about it. I’m living in the Present, loving my current journey.

The title of your novel, If You Love Me, Come, implies a simple solution to a problem/question, ie., “If you feel this way, then you will do this.” I have a feeling it’s a bit more complicated than that. Am I right? Care to elaborate?

Yes, the title can be examined from several vantage points. When lovers realize they are attracted to one another, one may be apprehensive about the changing reality of her world, the other may be energized and open to a knowing of what love means, for herself, for her lover, for their future. Now this realization can be mind-blowing, so much so that one or both may flee their feelings, and, sometimes, become so paralyzed by fear, they’d rather disappear back into the familiar, knowing they felt the fire that encourages us to fall in love.

Only the brave can answer the summons to love. Each character in the story (from Free Roberts to her good girlfriend Sharmayne Cooper-Naylor to her English schoolteacher sister Rhonda Butler to her mother Pastoria Roberts and the others) is faced with the decision to bow to or flee Love’s call.

I like to consider the spiritual aspect of the story as well. The Bible says the disciples were presented with the decision to leave their worldly pastimes and pick up their cross and follow the Messiah, if they loved Him and could abide His teachings to spread the glad tidings of the Gospel.

My characters find themselves facing, in their own unique situations, a spiritual warfare that demands they make certain choices. Their moral situations require present-moment face-offs, no room for walking the fence.

Finally, there is sensual surrender. When we love, we must trust our beloved with not only our hearts and minds but also our bodies.

I read a sample chapter of If You Love Me, Come in which the male character, Victor, comes home to a house void of his female companion, Sharmayne. He had very specific theories on where she was, who she was with, and what she was doing. How difficult was it to write the character Victor? Was it important for him to be as adamant as he was about his feelings toward lesbianism? Do you feel he was the way he was because he was personally affected by the situation, or was he simply a homophobe?

Victor was, surprisingly, an easy character to write. I have known a number of Victors, men who staunchly believe women are here to please them sexually, no reciprocation; men who verbally abuse their wives and accuse them of lesbianism, even when it isn’t true, just to have another something to psychologically demean the woman.

Sharmayne is his wife. She has had more than one woman should bear of this man, so the day eventually arrives when she gets the nerve to do precisely what he fears she will do. Leave. It is imperative for Victor to be Victor so that his transformation can be what it is. Victor, a mean and angry-at-the-world man, who cannot take his anger out on the outer world, feels short-changed because of how he came to be with Sharmayne. Readers will need to read the novel to learn more!

Even from the sample chapter, I was very impressed with the quality of your writing and your attention to detail, and from reading over your blog, it seems you’ve put a lot of time and energy into producing your novel. Then I go inside a bookstore or browse online and am in awe of authors who can continuously pump out book after book, year after year. In terms of novel writing, how do you feel about quality vs. quantity? Do you believe one can effectively achieve both?

You are a factory of awesome questions, Ms. Brown! Thank you for the quality and the content of your questions. Gracias! I would like to be a bestselling author with the capacity to publish a yearly blockbuster like the next author, who makes her living this way.

But realistically, I know that to produce the literature that spotlights quality, attention to detail, and provocative subjects and themes, one must slip outside of time and wade the River Styx, going deaf and dumb to chasing the dollar, and marinate and stew and write and ponder and rewrite and bake and baste the details and pray and cry and write and then and only then, walk towards a printer or publisher. Whichever, I will always cast my lot for quality vs. quantity, for I want my work to speak for me, for itself, when I am no longer here and my footsteps have been effaced in the sand.

Yes, I believe one can effectively achieve both, if one has been writing and rewriting and placing the manuscripts in a safe, waiting for the magic moment when the works can be published yearly, much like J. K. Rawlings did. Remember? She had written, what, four or five Harry Potter novels and had them boxed away, when she released the first book in her infamous series. Great timing I’m sure she didn’t plan!

Tell us a little about your writing process. How long did it take to complete your novel? Do you have a certain place or need a certain ambiance in order to feel creative? Do you set aside “X” amount of time to write each day or do you wait until inspiration strikes?

I once wrote every morning, when I left the English classroom. There was usually no preordained stopping time. I wrote until my body moaned and locked up and down, threatening to topple me to the carpet. Music regaled me from my desktop speakers, the house was still and I felt too blessed not to be doing what I’d prayed to do…write all day long. My writing process involved reading what I’d written the day before, rereading my novel’s outline, meditating momentarily on the day’s work, a prayer here and there, and I’d begin writing.

One way that I proofread is to consistently read aloud what I’ve written, fine-tuning my ears to a tight, natural phrasing.

Today I know that fear of failure was at the root of driving myself so doggedly back then. Now, I determine which hat the day calls for and I wear that hat as well as I possibly can, be it promoting, proofing, or writing, not necessarily in that order. I yet write with music filling my office, setting moods and creating atmosphere. I write and get it all out, read and reread, and write some more. Then the next day, I revise and proofread what I’ve worked on, before continuing with the new chapter. And if the writing doesn’t want to come, I bow to that and either continue proofing and rereading the manuscript or I rise and do something else, my mind free to embrace the hiatus, my subconscious quietly filling in what the story needs, while I exercise, bake, chat or journal.

I am confident that I am where I should be. I know that the Divine directs and orders my steps, and I will receive all that I am supposed to have. I focus on the image that I have of myself, not on what others think I should be or have what they think I should possess. I am comfortable in my skin, and I adore Miss Claudia.

It took me a little over ten years to complete If You Love Me, Come. Por que? Life washed in on me and flooded my writing time. For many years I didn’t write, but I always knew on a visceral level that everything was all right. That what I longed to do would be my reality one day. I had to trust the Unknown within me.

I love to write in my office. If I had to write elsewhere, I would, but I doubt I’d feel as creative as I do right here where I am currently sitting at 4:13 AM. (laughing)

Every day I write something. It may not be writing on a novel or short story. It could be a poem or a blog entry, either for my blog at http://www.theGolden-Goddess.blogspot.com or on a private site by invitation only. I don’t wait for inspiration, yet when I am writing, as I say above, I do not force those times when the writing comes in spurts. I trust that it will come, so I rise to do other things, although my subconscious mind is forever writing and creating.

What writing goals have you established for yourself over the years? Which have you achieved? Which are still high on the list?

I have met many of the writing goals I set years ago. I’d wanted my work to be widely anthologized, and today my work can be found in several anthologies. I wanted to write an adolescent novel and an adult novel. I have accomplished that.

Currently, I want to write more novels and publish a collection of short fiction centered on my character, Ms. Wanda B. Wonders, an Everywoman much like Langston Hughes’ Jesse B. Simple. Wanda wonders about everything under the sun. Fearless, she voices her opinions on the Black President, Octo-Mom, the Bail-out Plan, Facebook, September 11th and Pretty Pills. Like Simple, Wanda is a Race Woman. You can mention whatever subject you like, and Wanda will articulate its importance humorously in terms of black and white. I love her, and I know readers will also!

I have set writing goals to publish a poetry collection and record a poetry CD. I have plans of writing and publishing erotic short fiction, a screenplay and a travelogue. Not only that, I have children’s books on the blackboard and a collection of motivational essays. All of the aforementioned are high on my list, and I love walking them down, day after day, for it is the attention to small details of our passion that we bow to an undeniable love that animates our lives!

Recall your breakthrough moment, when you knew that writing was your calling.

I knew that writing was my calling when I wrote my first novel at the tender age of fifteen. I illustrated it and placed it between red covers. Fiercely proud, I remember reading it to anyone who could sit still longer than 15 minutes.

Let’s see…it was the tale of a sixteen-year-old artist, who won a trip to Europe, where she discovers love and the beauty of another culture. Even then, I researched the encyclopedias my parents purchased yearly to make certain my details authenticated the tale.

What do you spend your time doing when you’re not writing?

Mmmm. I love this question! When I’m not in my office writing, I exercise at home on my mini trampoline, jumping while watching a Netflix movie, or I enjoy the gym. I love spending time with my grandchildren, Nazir, who will be two this April, and his five-month-old baby sister, Laila Amor! I have a joy for traveling and relish planning small trips a year, into cities in which I have family or friends. I adore cruises and look forward to pleasurable forays into Mexico, the Caribbean and South America.

In addition, I absolutely love speaking and dancing also. Motivational speaking and open mics fill me with an instant unspeakable bliss, same as dancing of any sort but, in particular, burlesque.

Not only that, I relish giving back to those less fortunate than myself. I find pleasure in working in soup kitchens and sharing the meals I help prepare with Atlanta’s homeless. Moreover, I love attending film festivals and cultural celebrations and women’s festivals.

This year I will return to enjoying the camaraderie of women at women-centered galas.

CLAUDIA MOSS is the Atlanta author of two novels, the adolescent novel, The Memoirs of a High School Graduate and her current adult novel, If You Love Me, Come. Her short fiction has appeared in the anthologies, Longing, Lust and Love: Black Lesbian Stories, The Lust Chronicles, The Hoot & Holler of the Owls, Purple Panties, and SWING: Adventures in Swinging By Today’s Top Erotica Writers. Her poetry has been featured in Venus Magazine Volume 11, #4.

Claudia can be found on the web in various places, including:
http://www.theGolden-Goddess.blogspot.com, http://www.Twitter.com/theLadySiren, http://www.Facebook.com/claudiamoss, http://www.Blogtalkradio.com/theSiren, and http://www.YouTube.com/theLadyBestseller.

On the Horizon

I haven’t been as chatty on the blog lately, and I used to count that as being lazy and neglectful or just pathetic for having nothing to report. However, in this case, I’ve been too busy writing, completing and turning in stories to post something every morning.

And being the procrastinator that I am, it’s a good thing when I’m not blogging all that much, because blogging has, for a long time, been a means for me to not finish projects.

I recently turned in the final “oral” story and I’ve also finished THE BIG STORY for THE BIG PROJECT and it’s ready to be mailed. Last night I began a new BDSM erotic romance story (my first venture into that genre) and a “regular” erotic romance story.

So, I’m doing myself proud here in 2011… I just hope it stays that way.

Up next, I’ll be posting my interview with Atlanta based author Claudia Moss. I had the priviledge of interviewing her about her second novel, If You Love Me, Come as a part of her blog tour to promote the novel. Interview here, or at all for that matter, isn’t something I’ve tried before but it was really fun and interesting and challenging for me to try and come up with creative, different questions for her. I hope you guys will enjoy. Remember, Monday morning, folks!

In The Meantime

It’s early into the second month of the year and I’ve written and submitted four stories to various upcoming collections and given my history of chronic procrastination and jumping from one project to another while never seeing even one to the end, I know that’s something to be proud of.

I finished Trimming last night, a cunnilingus story that I hadn’t mentioned prior because it really was a spontaneous thing that came about over the last couple of days. Remember that notebook that I went on and on about? It had the beginnings of what came to be Trimming so I was able to finish and submit for yesterday’s deadline.

I have many other things on tap, so many that I was all diligent and organized about it and wrote down the names and deadlines of the projects and resolved to work on them one at a time, one deadline at a time.

Which means up next is the big project that I’m really nervous and feeling somewhat insecure about.

I mean, I’m not being vain, but I have plenty faith and in my writing and my ability to pull off a good, strong story, but the submissions process will be quite competitive and the waiting period in between quite long.

Which brings me to my next thought… the waiting. The time when everything’s out there in the editor/publisher’s hands and there’s nothing you can do about it but hope for the best knowing you can’t take it back for just one more once over, whether you’ve nailed it or truly fucked it up, it’s out there.

It is… or it’s not getting accepted.

And I know I don’t help matters when I’m constantly checking my email looking for feedback when really I’ve been warned that I won’t hear back for several months.

But, what now? What do I do in the meantime?

Sure there’s the writing which is a wonderful thing. The more I write, the more I submit, the more chances I have to get my work out there.

But, as much as I hate to admit it, I’m someone who, now and then, needs just a little validation, to know that I’m on the right track and haven’t “lost it.” Hence, my little fascination with Googling myself.

I don’t know.

But, what I do know is that I should continue to be happy in the little things, that I am actually writing and creating and sending this stuff in… no matter which way it goes.

Right?