I’ve been wanting for a long time to blog about marriage and money, or relationships and money. However, I wanted to take my time and think it through and carefully write it out. I don’t know that it will ever happen that way though. In true character, I think it may just come out a spontaneous out-of-nowhere no making much sense at all post that comes from something that happens in my own life.
Take last night for instance. It was one of the very few times my husband ever made me feel bad about the financial dynamics in our marriage. Though I am the one who manages the money, he is the one who makes (most of) it. For the past nearly two years, it’s been the elephant in the room. He makes significantly more than me. We once worked at the same place making piss poor money and my paycheck at one time was actually more than his.
Then he got a new job making a lot more and he assured me that in a few years I could stop working altogether. He had never been the type to make me feel bad about not earning as much or the fact that my children’s bio dad pays zero dollars in support, but when we argued last night about something having nothing to do with money, he made it blatantly known that he didn’t need me, that I had never done anything for him, that he makes money, that the savings account we have is technically his because he is the one who contributes to it and that today I should I get myself a checking and savings account.
So, what did I do? I cut up my debit card to our joint account right in front of his face because I’m always up for a challenge and then I cried.
What he said wasn’t true, not completely. I don’t contribute to our savings because I can’t. My paycheck pays bills. And when he wasn’t making significant amounts of money, my paycheck was getting his ass out of debt that he accumulated with his ex fucking wife. Oops, did I say that? Oh, I think I did.
So, no, this isn’t the money and relationship post that I dreamed it would be. That will come later. I just had to get it off my chest while I plan my next move. Mama always said you should have a stash.
Always, always listen to mama.