It’s early into the second month of the year and I’ve written and submitted four stories to various upcoming collections and given my history of chronic procrastination and jumping from one project to another while never seeing even one to the end, I know that’s something to be proud of.
I finished Trimming last night, a cunnilingus story that I hadn’t mentioned prior because it really was a spontaneous thing that came about over the last couple of days. Remember that notebook that I went on and on about? It had the beginnings of what came to be Trimming so I was able to finish and submit for yesterday’s deadline.
I have many other things on tap, so many that I was all diligent and organized about it and wrote down the names and deadlines of the projects and resolved to work on them one at a time, one deadline at a time.
Which means up next is the big project that I’m really nervous and feeling somewhat insecure about.
I mean, I’m not being vain, but I have plenty faith and in my writing and my ability to pull off a good, strong story, but the submissions process will be quite competitive and the waiting period in between quite long.
Which brings me to my next thought… the waiting. The time when everything’s out there in the editor/publisher’s hands and there’s nothing you can do about it but hope for the best knowing you can’t take it back for just one more once over, whether you’ve nailed it or truly fucked it up, it’s out there.
It is… or it’s not getting accepted.
And I know I don’t help matters when I’m constantly checking my email looking for feedback when really I’ve been warned that I won’t hear back for several months.
But, what now? What do I do in the meantime?
Sure there’s the writing which is a wonderful thing. The more I write, the more I submit, the more chances I have to get my work out there.
But, as much as I hate to admit it, I’m someone who, now and then, needs just a little validation, to know that I’m on the right track and haven’t “lost it.” Hence, my little fascination with Googling myself.
I don’t know.
But, what I do know is that I should continue to be happy in the little things, that I am actually writing and creating and sending this stuff in… no matter which way it goes.