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Ask Yourself…What do You Want? By Alison Tyler

Ultimately, I’m simply a girl on a quest. And what I’m trying to discover, what I’m always working to uncover is this:
Why do I need what I need? Why do I want what I want?
I ask those questions every day.

—From the Intro of Dark Secret Love

We’re taught to want certain things. Clean clothes. (Just watch the commercials. Clean clothes are apparently essential for a happy life.) A dishwasher full of sparkling wine glasses. A big mug of coffee early in the morning. Particularly if you live on a farm.

The world wants us to want certain things.

And I never did. (Okay, I want the coffee—but not the farm.) I always felt as if I ought to want what the rest of the world seemed to want, or as if I might someday, if Mr. Right came along. If the right situation presented itself. Suddenly, I’d understand what the other girls were talking about. I’d go on a date with a perfectly nice man, lean in for a kiss, and feel flickers of desire working through my body.

But honestly, I either was faking—or playing make-believe. You can blend in for a long time…and then one day you realize you’ve become a shell. Fragile. Delicate. Easily broken.

The world wants you to want the handsome man with the bouquet of red roses who takes you to dinner and a movie. The world wants you to giggle and titter and blush when he kisses you on the doorstep as moths beat their wings around your safety light. Nothing out there tells you that it’s okay if what you really want is for him to put down a twenty at the bar, take you out back in the alley and tell you to drop your trousers and assume the position.

What was that?

That’s not in the script they hand you when you become an adult. That doesn’t account for the picket fence and the whitewashed Colonial and the Volvo…

What if what you want is for a man to press up against you, push you into the bricks and says, “Count them off for me. Twenty. Mean. Blows. You’re going to feel these, I assure you.”

What if the whisper of his belt pulling free from the loops of his slacks makes you wetter than any sparkling glass on the planet?

We’re taught to want certain things.

Dark Secret Love is about what happens to a girl who wants something else.

dark

Alison Tyler is the author of 25 erotic novels, including the soon-to-be-published The Delicious Torment (Cleis Press). She has written a handful of novellas including Tied Up & Twisted (Harlequin), Those Girls (Go Deeper Press), and Banging Rebecca (Pretty Things Press). Visit her at alisontyler.blogspot.com where she promises never to have a cover charge.

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The Girl Crush I Never Knew I Had – Guest blog by Sommer Marsden

I admit I have a thing–a big, huge thing–for men with dark hair and light eyes. I once had a friend write to me and say, “Do you ever write blond boys with brown eyes?”

Hmph.

So, I wrote a blond boy with brown eyes. And a brown haired boy with brown eyes. But I almost always return to the dark haired boys with light eyes.

When it came to writing the female love interest in Restricted Release, for there are two, a man and a woman, I wasn’t sure which direction I’d go.

We recently had a conversation at the dinner table (God, I love my dinner table) where my daughter announced her friends discussing ‘who would you go gay for?’ Which girl would make you want a girl, basically. Assuming you’re hetero, that is.

I laughed, “Julianne Moore.” There. That was easy. I’ve had a big old girl crush on her for ages. There’s something so ethereally beautiful about her. And yet she’s also so down to earth pretty.

Once upon a time my answer would have been Angelina Jolie. But tastes change and I think most women would’ve gone gay for her at one point. Heh. Let’s not forget my longstanding girl crush, Jamie Lee Curtis. It still rages on today. I even wrote a story called The Scream Queen for her that appeared in Rachel Kramer Bussel’s The Mile High Club.

But I digress! (with the topic of all these beautiful women). My daughter’s answer, in case you’re interested, was “Jennifer Lawrence. She’s so pretty but she has the best personality EVER.”

I loved that answer.

So back to my book, since that’s why I’m here, right? Boy do I go off on tangents sometimes. The point is, I wasn’t sure what direction I’d go with Nadia. I assumed it would be a Julianne knock-off. Or even a Jamie. But nope. Imagine my surprise when Nadia showed up…

“Clara?” She stuck out her hand.
“Nadia?” I shook her hand shyly.
She nodded. She was shorter than I by almost six inches. She was thin but not skinny, plump in places but not fat. Her skin was the color of the sweet hard caramels my grandfather had always kept in his pocket, but the cold February wind had put roses in her cheeks. Her hair was as black as a crow’s feather and cut short so it fell in spiky brazen bits around her round face. She wore faded jeans with a hole in the knee, boots with faux-fur lining and a peacoat that was way too big for her but flattered her small frame nonetheless.
“Can I come in?” she asked, teeth chattering.
I gasped, feeling downright rude, and stepped back. “Of course. My gosh, I’m so sorry. Where are my manners? I just…I’m sort of…”
She stepped in and shook off the few snowflakes that had settled in her thick hair. “Freaked out?”
“Yes.”
She shucked the peacoat and hung it on a wall hook while I remained stupid and mute. Under the coat she wore a long concert t-shirt for Counting Crows and a gold belt that cinched it close to her small waist. She was punky and perfect—an instant girl crush.
“Would you…would you…” I was trying to ask her if she wanted coffee or tea or anything to warm her up but I was too busy staring. My gaze locked on her liquid-ink eyes and her plump pink lips. They were free of lip-gloss or lipstick or anything at all and yet as pink as my mother’s tea roses.
“Would I…?”
I blinked, found her gaze, but my eyes returned quickly to that mouth. And the things that Matt had told me it might do to me. With me. On me.
“Would you…” I whispered, losing my thought yet again.
“Well, balls,” she said with a small laugh. Then she pushed me hard against the foyer wall and kissed me.

Isn’t she stunning? I thought so. God, I love my job. I learn something new about myself every day. Including girl crushes I never knew I had. And what sploshing is. But that’s a post for another day. (there go my tangents again.)

XOXO
Sommer

Excerpt from RESTRICTED RELEASE
By Sommer Marsden

“Hi,” I blurted.
He grinned at me and warmth curled in my belly. A wild untamed fear of what I was about to do flooded my veins.
“Hi there.” Matt grabbed my wrist very gently and pulled me in the house. He knew. We both knew.
“I came to…I wanted to…” I sighed.
He leaned against a huge stack of moving boxes, most just labeled by room. Living Room, Kitchen, Den and some were marked JUNK. When I said nothing he said, “Wanted?”
“You,” I blurted. “I wanted you. I saw…” I swallowed hard. “God, I really suck ass at this, you know?” I growled.
That earned me a laugh and I finally noticed his hand was still wrapped around my wrist. My pulse jumped madly beneath his fingers.
“I saw you naked,” I whispered as if he were the only man to ever be naked in the history of the world.
He chuckled again. In my mind his laughter was made of smoke and cashmere. It was soft and slightly sinister but soothing as well. It was a fucking enigma is what it was.
Matt put his hand to his chest in mock shock. “Oh no…not…naked.”
I nodded. “Yes, naked. And I wanted to…I wanted you,” I said, despite the fact that my face felt like it had caught fire. “And I figured if I was bold enough to admit it at my house earlier I should be able to just put on my big-girl panties and say it to you. Even thought it is utterly insane. Like lock-me-up crazy.”
I took a deep breath as if I’d just surfaced from swimming.
“So that’s what you have on then?”
I blinked slowly, trying to figure out what he meant. The fingers of his free hand curled in the waistband of my gray leggings and he pulled me toward him. I took the staggering step and realized I’d been forgetting to breathe.
“What?” I finally gave up and asked.
“That’s what you have on? Your big-girl panties?” He pulled my waistband out and peered into my panties.
My heart shot up into my throat and then started beating in my temples. I couldn’t remember what panties I had on. Shit, I couldn’t remember if I had panties on.
“No,” I sighed.
He pushed fingers into my knickers and simply cupped my pussy. His hand was insanely warm and his middle finger curled snug to the split of me, pressing very gently against my clitoris.
All the air had left the room. All of it. I felt like a fish out of water. A girl chained to the bottom of the pool. I was drowning.
But then he kissed me and I could breathe.
*****

Blurb:
Clara is the recovering anorexic who’s nearly become a shut-in after the end of her emotionally abusive marriage. Matt is the new boy next door. Graphic artist, nice guy, funny…accepting of Clara. She wants him, he wants her—but Clara is afraid.

Nadia is the stand-in—Matt’s idea, Clara’s challenge to accept. A longtime friend of Matt’s, she’s a sexual surrogate intended to guide Clara until she’s not afraid of Matt’s desire for her or hers for him. Twosomes become threesomes, watching becomes touching and lust becomes love.

When Matt moved in next door, lust was the last thing Clara expected. Two lovers never crossed her mind. And the need to make a choice was something she thought she’d never encounter. But she’s bolder now, healing, and everything has changed. And a choice must be made, no matter how hard.

Inside scoop: Clara’s healing includes a hot woman who wants to show her how desirable she is, as well as f/m/f menagés.

Available from:Amazon UK
Amazon US
All Romance eBooks
Ellora’s Cave
*****

Bio
Sommer Marsden’s been called “…one of the top storytellers in the erotica genre” (Violet Blue), “Unapologetic” (Alison Tyler), “…the whirling dervish of erotica” (Craig J. Sorensen),and “Erotica royalty…” (Lucy Felthouse).

Her erotic novels include Restricted Release, Restless Spirit, Boys Next Door, and Learning to Drown. Sommer currently writes erotica and erotic romance for Xcite Books, eXcessica, Ellora’s Cave, Pretty Things Press, Resplendence Publishing and Mischief Books. The wine-swigging, dachshund-owning, wannabe runner author writes work that runs the gamut from bondage to zombies to humor.

Sommer’s short works can be found in well over one hundred (and counting) erotic anthologies. Her short stories have also been included numerous adult and romance magazines–both in print and online. Visit her at Unapologetic Fiction http://sommermarsden.blogspot.com

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“Oh No She Didn’t!” A Guest Post by Giselle Renarde

adamshereesfamilybusinessare

Oh no I didn’t? Oh yes I did! I wrote Adam and Sheree’s Family Vacation: a book so vile, so filthy, so taboo that it was banned by Amazon and many other retailers.

You’d think I’d have learned my lesson. Amazon is the world’s biggest seller of ebooks, right? If they won’t carry it, isn’t that like throwing months of hard work down the drain? Wouldn’t you think a clever, business-conscious writer would pack it in and write something a little tamer?

Well, I guess I’m an idiot because… I wrote another one.

The sequel to Adam and Sheree’s Family Vacation is called Adam and Sheree’s Family Business, and it’s every bit as sordid as the first. No, it’s more sordid. Not only does the sequel feature shockingly explicit sex between a brother and sister, it includes all the dirty details of how Sheree drags her brother Adam (and all three of his college housemates!) into her fledgling porn business.

So why on earth would I write a book that’s 100% guaranteed to get banned by Amazon? Their rules are clear: they don’t allow erotic content that includes sex between blood relatives. Same goes for ebook retailers like All Romance and BookStrand. Even if I am lucky enough to work with a publisher that welcomes taboo content, am I stupid or what? I’ve now written two novellas readers’ go-to online bookshop refuses to carry.

Yeah, I’d say I’m pretty stupid.

But there’s something about censorship that gets my goat. Maybe I didn’t rebel enough as a teenager, I don’t know, but when I hear there’s something the Amazonian Amazon WILL NOT ALLOW… well, I can’t help but wonder why. Why can’t I write an erotic story about a sexual relationship between two consenting adults?

Well, there’s an easy answer: because they’re siblings. And that’s just not permissible.

Remember when Flowers in the Attic came out and everyone in your class at school read it before the parental units found out why the kids always had their faces shoved in a book? Is Amazon now the scolding parent we writers are looking out for over our shoulders while we work?

And, speaking of Flowers in the Attic, why is Amazon totally cool about carrying a popular incest book by a bestselling author, but they won’t carry books by low-grossing writers like me (and maybe you, if you’re an author too)? Who gets to dictate what constitutes literary merit? Why does explicit fiction get so brutally castigated? Can’t a book be smutty and thought-provoking?

These are the questions I ask myself while cutting coupons and praying my rent cheque doesn’t bounce.

Sibling incest is an uncomfortable topic, but that’s why so many readers find it titillating. The more Big Daddy Amazon says YOU CAN’T READ THAT, the more we want to. Same goes for writers. Tell us we can’t explore a topic, and going to write the holy hell out of it.

Adam and Sheree’s Family Vacation, as well as its brand new sequel Adam and Sheree’s Family Business, may not be available from Amazon, but you CAN purchase them at eXcessica’s EDEN website and Barnes & Noble.

Read the Blurb/Excerpt or Purchase Adam and Sheree’s Family Vacation from EDEN:
http://excessica.com/eden/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=15&products_id=173
Read the Blurb/Excerpt or Purchase Adam and Sheree’s Family Vacation from Barnes & Noble:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/adam-and-sherees-family-vacation-giselle-renarde/1115524496?ean=2940016708492

Read the Blurb/Excerpt or Purchase Adam and Sheree’s Family Business from EDEN:
http://excessica.com/eden/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=30&products_id=179
Read the Blurb/Excerpt or Purchase Adam and Sheree’s Family Business from Barnes & Noble:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/adam-and-sheree-x2019-s-family-business-giselle-renarde/1116893547?ean=2940148682998

Giselle Renarde is a queer Canadian, avid volunteer, and contributor to more than 100 short story anthologies, including Best Women’s Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Bondage Erotica, and Best Lesbian Romance. Ms Renarde has written dozens of juicy books, including Anonymous, Ondine, and Nanny State. Her book The Red Satin Collection won Best Transgender Romance in the 2012 Rainbow Awards. Giselle lives across from a park with two bilingual cats who sleep on her head.

Giselle Renarde
Canada just got hotter!

Visit me online
http://donutsdesires.blogspot.com
http://www.wix.com/gisellerenarde/erotica
http://twitter.com/GiselleRenarde

New Release: Beast In Me by Sommer Marsden

Beast in Me – Book 2 of the Divination Falls Trilogy
By Sommer Marsden

Beast In Me

Blurb:

Weather worker Cameron Bale rolls into Divination Falls after being prompted by Spirit and Brother Lighting. He discovers that the small, hidden town full of shifters and magical types is suffering a series of unsettling events. There’s speculation from the town seers that he could be the answer they’ve been looking for. Cameron’s willing to try and help: he’s got nowhere to go and nothing to lose. His life is simply about loneliness and it turns out that Trace, a grumpy wolf with stunning eyes, knows just what that feels like. Cam finds himself wishing maybe they could be alone … together. Oh yeah, and battle whatever evil it is that still lurks in Divination Falls.

Available from Amazon UK and Amazon.

*****
Excerpt:

A dragonfly zipped past and Cam watched it go. What next? Bluebirds and butterflies and singing cartoon woodland animals? It was all too nice, too perfect … Surreal.

‘You OK?’ The voice was deep and dark and full of secrets. That was his first impression.

Cameron jumped, clutched at his pounding chest. Inside his heart was going berserk and he felt a little lightheaded with it.

‘I was. Jesus Christ, you scared me.’

Trace grinned with half his mouth. Somehow that little smirk made Cameron think of the big bad wolf. Made him flash back to that body sprawled, lean and powerful, over a small, lumpy bed. Made him remember one of those huge hands on a powerful, hard cock. He licked his lips.

‘Careful, lightning rider. I can smell your emotions.’ Then the wolf chuckled, bending to tie his work boot.
‘I – I’m sorry I spied on you.’ It was all Cameron could think to say.

Trace shrugged. Cameron watched his big shoulders flex with power. He was stunning with his huge body, big, fat attitude, and purple eyes. Just being so close to him made Cameron feel slow-witted and thick-tongued.
‘It was the most excitement I’ve had in ages,’ the wolf said and started to walk.

Cameron watched him go off, his heart sinking. He wanted the man to take his apology seriously. He also admitted to himself he wanted to be close to the wolf. There was no hope of anything happening between them. There was very little hope of anything happening for Cam with anyone. He’d come to terms with that long ago. But still, he could just be near Trace. Remembering the sight of his body and the sound of his voice just outside Cam’s barricaded bedroom door as he brought himself off.

Wolf at the door, he thought, and then shook it off.

Fifty feet away, Trace stopped, and Cameron felt his spine go rigid, his pulse pick up. The man turned to him and shielded his eyes from a bright beam of sunlight between the thick tree branches. ‘You gonna stand there all day admiring my ass, or are you coming?’

Cameron blinked, feeling a wild urge to laugh but pushing it away. ‘Yes! Right!’ he called, bouncing on his toes like one of those perky, hyper dogs. He blushed, but refused to let himself feel silly or embarrassed. He very much wanted to go along.

He hurried along the path until he was almost even with the wolf. Then Trace turned and continued to walk, Cameron right on his heels.

‘Why are you here?’ Trace asked.

The question stunned Cameron but he swallowed hard and tried to focus enough to answer. ‘Good question. I … work with weather. Lightning to be specific. I guess the best way to put it is I was nudged here.’

‘Like with voltage?’ Trace asked with a gruff laugh.

‘Yeah. Sadly, I do get nudged with voltage.’

The wolf turned those deep purple eyes on Cameron and said, ‘What for? What’s here?’

How did eyes get that colour? Cam wondered. Had he been born with them or was it a shifter thing? He had no idea; all he knew was they were the most amazing eyes he’d ever seen. And they were attached to one of the most amazing bodies he’d ever seen.

Trace cocked his head, giving a half grin. ‘Hello?’

‘Sorry! I was just looking –’ He flushed, caught in the act. ‘Your eyes, they’re amazing.’

That closed the bigger man down. He’d had a nice amused and open expression on his handsome face and that fast, it shut down like someone turning the lights off in an empty house. ‘Thanks. I guess. They’re the product of a very bad infection when I was a kid.’ He turned on his heels and kept walking without further explanation.

Cameron had to force himself to swallow. He had just complimented the first man he’d lusted after in goodness knew how many years on some sort of mutation? Something that clearly upset him when discussed. Good going, dumbass!

Cameron hurried along the patch, ducking reaching branches and praying there was no poison ivy to be found here in Divination Falls. ‘I’m sorry! I didn’t know. And I don’t know what’s here. Or why I am,’ he gasped, finally catching up.

The wolf shrugged. He shot Cameron a sideways glance and said, ‘Why would you know what’s here?’ He stopped fast and Cam found himself almost crying out from the sudden shift in motion. ‘As for why you’re here, how could you not know that?’

‘I never really know until it’s revealed,’ Cameron said. He kept his gaze pinned at Trace’s chin so he wouldn’t get mesmerized by those stunning eyes that clearly upset the custodian.

‘Was it me, maybe?’ Trace asked, his lips twisting into a grin. ‘Was it secretly watching me jack off? Was that your big mission?’ He took a step toward Cameron which forced the lightning rider to step back. Or get crushed against an angry wolf.

‘I’m sorry,’ Cam breathed. ‘It wasn’t my intention and then I couldn’t …’ He shook his head. His skin was tingling and he wondered if he was going to get struck. Or worse yet, if Trace would strike him. ‘You might want to step back,’ he said without thinking.

‘Why is that?’ the wolf asked, taking a step forward. ‘Am I invading your space?’

‘I get it,’ Cam stammered. ‘I invaded your privacy. I’m no better than a pervert. I know! But you could get …’

The wind kicked up. It often did when he was frightened or excited and his blood leapt in his veins and his heart beat fast with arousal. His last lover had been zinged by energy one too many times and when some of his hair had actually caught fire, he’d bailed. Calling Cameron a freak in the process. Cam wasn’t up for either Trace being hurt or thinking him a freak.

‘I might get what? And it’s OK – you invaded my privacy, now give me an excuse to invade yours.’ He pushed his face closer and Cameron caught a flickering of animal shine in the man’s eyes. They turned golden around the very iris and a fast, steady pulse beat at the base of Trace’s neck. When he took Cameron’s wrist in his big hand and squeezed, Cam felt the air rush out of him. His cock pressed eagerly to his jeans and he tried his best to focus on something – anything! – besides the wolf so maybe his hard-on would abate. No such luck because Trace took his warm hand and very briefly cupped the evidence of arousal in Cam’s pants. ‘Looks like you’re still a bit worked up from last night.’

‘You were watching me in wolf form.’

‘I was.’

‘You heard me.’ It wasn’t a question. Very briefly, Cam wished for Trace to put his hand back. To touch him.

‘I did. I also smelled you and tasted you on the wind. Do you know when you come your breath does this shuddery little sigh thing?’

‘No.’

‘Well, it does.’

*****
Bio:

Sommer Marsden’s been called “…one of the top storytellers in the erotica genre” (Violet Blue), “Unapologetic” (Alison Tyler), “…the whirling dervish of erotica” (Craig J. Sorensen),and “Erotica royalty…” (Lucy Felthouse).

Her erotic novels include Restless Spirit, Boys Next Door, Big Bad, Learning to Drown, Wanderlust and the Zombie Exterminator series. Sommer currently writes erotica and erotic romance for Xcite Books, eXcessica, Ellora’s Cave, Pretty Things Press, Resplendence Publishing and Mischief Books. The wine-swigging, dachshund-owning, wannabe runner author writes work that runs the gamut from bondage to zombies to humor.

Sommer’s short works can be found in well over one hundred (and counting) erotic anthologies. Her short stories have also been included numerous adult and romance magazines–both in print and online.

Links:
Blog: http://sommermarsden.blogspot.com
Goodreads: http://goodreads.com/sommer_marsden
Facebook: http://facebook.com/sommermarsden
Twitter: @sommer_marsden
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/sommermarsden

On the Horizon

I haven’t been as chatty on the blog lately, and I used to count that as being lazy and neglectful or just pathetic for having nothing to report. However, in this case, I’ve been too busy writing, completing and turning in stories to post something every morning.

And being the procrastinator that I am, it’s a good thing when I’m not blogging all that much, because blogging has, for a long time, been a means for me to not finish projects.

I recently turned in the final “oral” story and I’ve also finished THE BIG STORY for THE BIG PROJECT and it’s ready to be mailed. Last night I began a new BDSM erotic romance story (my first venture into that genre) and a “regular” erotic romance story.

So, I’m doing myself proud here in 2011… I just hope it stays that way.

Up next, I’ll be posting my interview with Atlanta based author Claudia Moss. I had the priviledge of interviewing her about her second novel, If You Love Me, Come as a part of her blog tour to promote the novel. Interview here, or at all for that matter, isn’t something I’ve tried before but it was really fun and interesting and challenging for me to try and come up with creative, different questions for her. I hope you guys will enjoy. Remember, Monday morning, folks!