Archive | April 2012

“Hey Man, Can I Borrow Your Car?”

in.teg.ri.ty[in-teg-ri-tee] noun 1. adherence to moral and ethical priniciples, soundness of moral character; honesty. For today, we will pretend that I haven’t gona all year without blogging. You’ll forgive the long-winded post I never did write summarizing months of unexpected and sudden onset illness and you’ll give me just a minute more to properly catch you up on all happenings writing-related. No, today, I want to talk about integrity. I used the word early this morning while ironing my work uniform. In fact, the sentence I used was, “…but, it speaks on your integrity as well…” Ever heard the phrase “guilty by association?” Or, how about “birds of a feather flock together?” I know they’re cleche and I know it’s basically stereoyping but when you’re in a relationship, an adulty relationship, doesn’t what your friends do while they’re with you, around you, or do involvin you, reflect on you and your own relationship? I’m sure many (men) would say no. In fact I was told by one in particulat that I didn’t need to trust “them,” that I needed to trust “him.” But he, by whatever passive participative part he had in the situation, condoned what was going on. No, it wasn’t him acting, no he might not have cheered the person on or verbally said, “What you’re doing is cool with me.” But by not standing up and at least saying, “I’m not judging, but I don’t feel comfortable participating in what you’re going to do…” isn’t that the same as saying, “Go for it man!?” What I wanted to say, but knew that the words would have been wasted, was that it creates a standard. Somewhere at some point, and I might not have enven been in the picture at the time, something he did or said let this person (these people!) know that it was perfectly fine to solicit him in their elicit endeavors. And that pisses me off. #1. He’s a married man with a family. #2. He breaks bread with these friends’ family all the while not only keeping their dirtly little secrets, but helping them pull off the scam. I find it disgusting and frustrating. It makes me wonder exactly why it’s so easy for them to come to him for these favors. is it because they’ve done the same for him and he “owes them one?” Or does he oblige because he thinks he may need the same services in return form them one day. I just don’t like it. Cheat on your wife/girlfriend. Those are your morals, your vows and that is your integrity. But when you involve my spouse, you make me an unwilling party. When so-and-so gets caught not driving his own vehicle, of course his reasoning will be because he left his friend (my spouse!) so-and-so use it to “do his thing.” I shouldn’t have to defent myself against rumors that don’t even have to get started. Hasn’t anyone ever heard of doing your dirt all by your lonely? Geesh.