This is going to get personal, like, really personal. But that’s what we do here. Chat lightly, things get heavy, we promote a little.
I would categorize this one as a vent, except I’m not angry, and quite frankly, that worries me.
I may or may not have spoken here about boundaries. Specifically boundaries in a relationship. And sure, everyone has their own, whether expressed or unspoken.
Mine, however, have been blatantly expressed in the past, but now I find myself dealing with the same issue.
Specifically, I’m talking boundaries when it comes to being in contact with people other than your spouse/partner.
Where do you draw the line? At texting? At calling? At hanging out?
And to catch you up. The spouse is mine, the contact is via text (as far as I know) and he sort of told me as an afterthought.
The texter is a coworker. Remember those simultaneous dreams he and I had where I dreamed he was having an affair with a coworker and he dreamed I was having an affair with the neighbor? Weird, right? Well, the neighbor moved.
And his coworker, not someone he works closely with or even physically comes in contact with on a daily basis, texted him yesterday to “check on him.”
He’s on vacation. He’s not sick.
He’s simply not at work. And if he’s not at work, then guess what? He’s at home or somewhere with his wife, who would be doing the checking on if need be.
I didn’t say anything at first.
Because I try to be a cool, modern wife, you know. But the thing is, I wear my emotions on my sleeve, and at some point, I started to boil over.
He thinks it’s jealousy. I think it’s boundaries, plain and simple. If I’ve not met, formed any type of friendship with this woman, she does not get to have a part in our marriage that’s exclusive to only him, especially when I was here first.
But, maybe that’s just me.
In the end I gave my opinion and honestly, he seemed sort of sad, like I had taken away a favorite toy or something. He even told me to find a guy to text after I asked how he’d feel if he were in my shoes. WTF, right?
Now, mama didn’t raise no fool. I didn’t come out and say “stop this or else” because if he wanted to stop he would and if I told him to stop and he didn’t want to, guess what? He’d continue, only behind my back which would make it definitely look like something even if it’s nothing.
So what did I do? What any sane woman would do, of course. I friended her on Facebook. I’ve got the bitch on my radar and I’m watching the situation closely. That’s all I’m saying.