I don’t like being told I can’t do something. And I’m not speaking in the finger wagging “no means no” sense. I mean, I hate being doubted, even when that doubt is thinly veiled with well wishes and encouragement.

I’m a big girl and this isn’t my first rodeo. I didn’t ask for opinions or advices relocating my family, yet snuck in opinions and unsolicited advice is what I got and continue to get even weeks after the decision was made. We’ve moved already for fuck’s sake and that’s all there is to it. And it makes it hard for me to believe that you’re happy for me when you tell me that you’re having conversations that include the phrase “do you think they’re coming back?” I measure that up there with betting on the length of someone’s marriage while dancing at their reception. It’s rude and mostly, it’s not supportive.

What’s funny, though, is that I didn’t even ask for support, though it would have been nice. But I guess I’m saying all this to say that if you’re not supportive of someone’s decision no matter what it is, then don’t be. Don’t go to their wedding and by all means don’t send a gift. They’ll appreciate the honesty in the long run.


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