But I’m not jolly. I’m actually quite SAD (get it, heh). You’d find it really ironic if you knew me, because this is MY season. I go all out for the holidays with the decorations and the gifting and the music and the egg nog (that might go along with the SAD, though, right?). I love my time with my family, when, initially, it was family shit that triggered my depression.
Anyway, as with every other year after I gave up on therapy, I’ve been trying to fight it and go it on my own, but I find myself unmotivated to do much of anything. It’s a struggle even to get out of bed. I blame it on the cold weather, but really it’s the depression. And though I’m making the SAD reference, mine is more than seasonal, and I rarely stay on my meds. Hey, I’m stubborn and I like to tough it out.
Anyway, it’s why I’ve been quiet and teary (when no one’s looking) and just stumbling along here waiting for it to pass. That’s gonna happen…right?