When it comes to my creativity, I am my own worst enemy.
I have no problem creating. I have no problem writing. I have no problem submitting stories. It’s when all these things huddle together and multiply in my crowded little mind that I have the problem.
At first glance, I come off as a hippie, a free spirit, and I suppose I carry that through in my writing life. I’m in no way structured or disciplined when it comes to beginning and completing a project. I write on a whim. Producing a story may take me an hour and a half or it may take four months, depending on which way the wind blows. I’ve always been that way.
Even when I’m writing in my notebooks. I start in the middle of the page and scribble all along the sides. I skip a page and write a scene on the back of another. I think of the ending and go ahead and write that. Then I realize what I want the title to be. And no one is more frustrated by this than me because I fear it’s what’s held me back all these years from being able to freelance full time.
I literally don’t have the head for it. I am the epitome of ADD. Yet, when I’m in my zone, I’m in there, but when I’m not, I’m not, and unfortunately, I’ve suffered for it. I’ve missed deadlines and let editors down all because I don’t know how to not bounce from one project to another, do one thing at time, finish this, then start that.
That being said. I’ve managed to get myself published many times over and gain a (small?) following. And though I still must work a 9 to 5 to well, eat and stuff, I get to write and escape this life at will. I get to hold on to the hope that one day…