Regardless of my enormous self-issued balls yesterday, I spent much of the evening crying… so much so that I had a headache before going to bed and it was still there when I awakened this morning. But, along with the crying, there was a whole lot of asking myself: “What in the hell happened, here?”
I used to take great pride in my guts, my gumption to step out on faith and look out for Number 1 no matter what. Now, for some reason, I just can’t seem to make that happen. As much as I want to be nonchalant and not give a flying “F”, as much as I want to turn the other cheek, it still bothers me. It still breaks me down just a little bit to feel like I’m the only one who’s suffering. For once, I want to be the one with the cold heart. For once, I want someone else to be the one who cares and who cries.
But, I suppose some would argue that to be as sad as I am, it shows that I’m still human. Well to that I say, “F” that. Hey – I’m just getting back to the Blogger thing – I’m not sure if the F bomb is allowed, lol.
Ooh, a funny. See, I’m in there, somewhere.