The Push

This in office training is mind numbing I tell you. I hate it so much I’ve contemplated quitting my job more than ten times this week. When I look at the clock and it’s only 2 and I’m doing the same thing over and over and over with no end in sight… I’m near tears. And I’m seated right in front of a window, so often I stop in the middle of what I’m doing to just stare.

Another week of this just might be the nudge I need to begin making the transition to full-time freelancing.

I don’t talk a lot about my 9 to 5 woes here because for one I try to keep this a writing blog, but secondly, a lot of my stress had been relieved when my position was transferred to in home. It took a lot of the weight off. I had more freedom. I saved on gas. I had less headaches. I was able to cheat a little and get some writing done during the day.

But now even the hint of of having to go back to this life depresses me. And I realize this will be over eventually and I will be home again, but what if this weren’t just a two week to a month thing? What if I had to go back to working in an office permanently? How could I bring myself to do it?

I hesitate to make the following statement because I am grateful to even have a job and I really hate to complain but:

I don’t love what I spent most of my time doing. I don’t like it even a little bit. It doesn’t interest me. It doesn’t fulfill me and I shudder to think if I had to spend another ten, hell, another two years doing it.

The thing is, I do it because I have to. And I guess what I have to do now is make it so that one day (and hopefully sooner rather than later) I won’t have to.

There. It’s out now.

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